ESFJs are warm-hearted individuals who highly value their close personal relationships. They are very service-oriented, and their own happiness is closely tied into the happiness and comfort of those around them. They are valued for their genuine warm and caring natures, and their special ability to bring out the best in others. They usually do not handle conflict well, and may tend to be very controlling or manipulative. Relationships are central to their lives, and they put forth a great amount of energy into developing and maintaining their close interpersonal relationships. They expect the same from others.
- Put forth a lot of effort to fulfill their duties and obligations
- Warm, friendly and affirming by nature
- Service-oriented, they want to please others
- Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
- Responsible and practical, they can be counted to take care of day-to-day necessities
- Generally upbeat and popular, people are drawn towards them
- Generally very good money managers
- Traditionally minded and family-oriented, they will make family celebrations and traditions special events
- Generally uncomfortable with change, and moving into new territories
- Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
- Need a lot of positive affirmation to feel good about themselves
- May be overly status-conscious, and interested in how others see them
- Have very difficult time accepting the end of a relationship, and are likely to take the blame for the failure onto their own shoulders
- Have difficulty accepting negative things about people close to them
- Don't pay enough attention to their own needs, and may be self-sacrificing
- May tend to use guilt manipulation as a way to get what they want
ESFJs in Love
ESFJs are warmly caring people who give their intimate relationships a lot of special care and attention. They're usually traditional and take their commitments very seriously. Once the ESFJ has said "I do", you can bet that they will put forth every effort to fulfill their obligations to the relationship.
ESFJs want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give to others. This need of theirs is sometimes intensified to the point where they are very emotionally needy, and constantly "go fishing" for affirmation if it is not freely given. ESFJs typically cannot stand conflict or criticism. They take any sort of criticism as a general indictment of their character. This is a potential pitfall for ESFJs to be aware of. In the face of negative feedback, or the absence of positive affirmation, ESFJ may become very depressed and down on themselves. Appreciation is the greatest gift that their mates can give them.
ESFJs have a tendency to be very conscious of social status and "what other people think". They should take care not to let this interfere with their close relationships.
Romantically, ESFJs are warm and loving, and welcome intimacy as an opportunity to express their affections, and receive their partners gifts of love. Many ESFJs have a tendency to be highly scheduled and traditional in their romantic habits, but this is almost always overcome by increasing their education and awareness of options. ESFJs are very service-oriented and will place a lot of importance on making their partners happy.
Being highly practical, the ESFJ is excellent in matters regarding home management. They're likely to be very responsible about taking care of day-to-day needs, and to be careful and cautious about money matters. They are interested in security and peaceful living, and are willing and able to do their part towards acheiving these goals for themselves, their mates, and their families.
Most ESFJs have a strong need to "belong" - whether it be to institutions or traditions, or family units. This need usually causes them to be quite social creatures, who enjoy attending parties, as well as throwing their own. They're likely to strongly desire that their mates share in their social experiences.